How Harry J Potter saved the Wizardly and the Muggle words
by Going to enjoy this
Summary: Read how Harry J. Potter managed to save not just the wizardly world; but the muggle world also. See how he is joined by his friends as he uses his savior complex to save everyone.
1. The love for JK Rowlings

Harry and Hermione . No other ships for me . Harry and Ginny made no sense or does Hermione and Ron . He was a greedy selfish jealous idiot who made Hermione cried throughout her whole time at hogwarts he betrayed Harry too many times to count I don't know how in the hell JK Rowling thought someone like Hermione would marry someone like Ronald Bilius Weasley (:. And who in their right mind would want Molly Weasley as an in law ?

I thought Dumbledore was a narcissistic moron who raised a child to be a martyr he was not light he was an old evil bigoted man who thought he knew best he thought his knowledge was know all end all and only he the great Dumbledore knows best . He could've ended that war if he told everyone who Voldemort was he turned a blind eye to all the corruption going on and let innocent people die all so he could save the guilty. Snape the guilty death eater he got a cushy job as a professor yet he taught nothing did nothing but bully and be a petty ugly bastard . People Make excuses for him and claim that James Potter was a bully well guess what he was a kid and snape was just as bad but unlike Snape James grew up and chose the right side Snape choose to joined the side of evil I don't care how bad his childhood was Harry's was worse and so was lupins but they didn't let it control their whole life they learned to rise above it and do better Snape decided to be petty and mean and abusive to children . It was very convenient that Molly Weasley was there yelling about muggles when Hagrid conveniently left without showing Harry how to get to the platform the train have always left at the same time from the same plaform 9 3/4 Yet a woman with the most kids in hogwarts and who went there herself for 7 years didn't know not a set up at all . Severus Snape will never be anything but a nasty abusive butthole to me he gave his master the prophecy so he was the cause of the Potters death but somehow that wasn't enough for him no , he made sure he spent years bullying their child who's been abused all his life . I'm so tired of the James Potter was a bully excuse , so was Snape only difference was they were both kids and James grew up Snape held onto a grudge for a dead man and used it to bully his child . Harry was a child he was not his father yet he was hated on sight by a grown ass man with a petty grudge but no it was all James Potters fault for being a bully. James made up for his behavior by saving snapes life. If the tables were turned yeah I'm sure the petty hooked nose git would've saved

James life . He owed James Potter a life debt and repayed that by having him killed . Don't worry though he asked his master to spare Lilly because I'm sure after a poor distraught Lilly burys her husband and son she would've turned to the death eater that caused their death for comfort . Also very convenient that dumassdore could get the greasy git off by just his word yet the only person that could put a wrench in his plan of Harry killing himself to save a bunch of backwards racists sheeps was left to rot in Azkaban. How did he know to send Hagrid to get Harry ? How did he know Harry was the only one that survived ? Who gave him the right to take Harry and gave him to the Dursley's ?. Molly Weasley is loud mouth controlling hag and there's no way you can covince me she didn't potion Harry and Hermione for her two awful kids . Ginny the fan girl she raised on the promise of one day marrying the boy who live and Moron who's the greediest most selfish bigoted bully harry was saddled with as a friend quick to be jealous of a boy who was orphaned then spent the first ten years of his life living in a cupboard but no harry was rich and famous so that was wrong in Ron Weasley's world . He bullied Hermione on day one simply because she was a muggle born he was no better than Malfoy how in the hell a girl who supposed to be the smartest witch in a long while would think a bully would make a good husband he willl spend their whole life being jealous of her and putting down anything he doesn't like, like her muggle heritage . Arthur Weasley see muggles as nothing more than a science experiment .

The Dursleys should've been tarred and feathered .

People who write Dramione FanFiction need their heads examine . Draco Malfoy was a racist bigoted psycopath who hated Hermione because of her blood status how in the hell does that make a great relationship ? She was called a mudblood constantly by him . It's like if I decided I would marry the boy in school who called me the N word daily .

Jacob Black was one kiss away from rape . He was not meant to be with Bella . He didn't take no for an answer and Charlie Swan was a horrible father . What kind of father laughs when your daughter tells you she was kissed against her will ?. You are a police officer but because you dislike her chosen mate you turned a blind eye to her sexual asssult It always irked me the Edward Cullen haters who claimed he was too controlling . Seriously the guy was born in Victorian times when men were the head of the family vampires don't change. Jacob was a manipulator who only thought about what he wanted wether Bella consented or not didn't matter to him he would take what he wanted . He never imprinted on her so she was not meant for him but he would bad mouth her mate yet she defended him poor Edward the mind reader had to put up with a child and a naive mate who wouldn't give up her second option . Now Edward is saddled for eternity with the dog that tried to take his mate is now and forever his son- in law . Stephanie Meyers and Jk Rowling had some serious morality issues in thier stories . Now that I'm older and I'm seeing some serious issues that was overlooked . Thank god for fiction writers who can go in and fix their huge screwups .


	2. The love of the Harry Potter fan fiction

I like Harry Potter fanfiction, its about 90% of stories I follow. I love the books ... except that last few of the series.

The 6th book was bad, 7th was the absolute worse. For me, the biggest problem of the 7th book was inconsistant facts. Parts of it contradicted the early years.  
The 5 biggest problems, First 3 are mine, last 2 are what others pointed out and I agree with.

**1- _Harry mourned more for Dobby than he did for Hedwig._**

He yelled for Hedwig when she was hit, then it was "Okay, I cried out 'no!' and now I'm fine"... Seriously Rowling killed off Hedwig just so she wouldn't have to write about her anymore. There was not intelligent reason there. Seriously, if Harry had just half the wits he did in early years, he would not have had Hedwig in that cage as the "7 Harrys" made the escape. He would have had her fly off earlier in the day, then she wouldn't be in danger. DUH!

edit Dec. 2014-

I've heard comments of Rowling killing off Hedwig as symbolism of Harry's childhood was over/dying. I seriously hope that's just fan comments and not an actual fact from Rowling because its utter nonsense, as stupid as why Molly Weasley was the one to kill Bellatrix.

For one, Hedwig didn't symbolize Harry's childhood, that childhood was next to non-existent. His innocence died before that as well, with all the crap he's gone through in school from seeing a schoolmate being killed, to seeing his godfather falling through the veil. IF 5th year (Sirius' death) wasn't the end of his childhood, then the leaving of Privet Dr., the location of his dismal childhood was.

Actually, the end to whatever childhood he had was at the end of 4th year when he was kidnapped, saw the death of a class mate, used as part of a resurrection ritual that revived the monster that killed his parents, then was tortured by the same man that killed his parents? That was not the symbolized moment of the end of his childhood? Instead it was the death of his pet? A caged owl? Only thing can sum that up = WTF

Frankly, I still stand by the comment, Rowling killed off Hedwig because she didn't want to write her in anymore.

**2- _The anger of Neville Longbottom, the danger of Belatrix Lestrnage and the non-experience of Molly Weasley creates the most anti-climatic ending to a feud in the series._**

We find out that Neville's parents were tortured by the 3 LeStranges and Crouch Jr.

Then in book 5 when the LeStranges escape we see that Neville pushing himself to learn in the DA and improve so much that only Hermione was getting the spells faster than him...but didn't it say a few spell he got faster than her? We are shown that the focus of Neville's anger was always on Bellatrix LeStrange, not her husband or his brother. When in the Ministry, it was Bellatrix that taunted Neville, not her husband. Ever since the first introduction of Bellatrix, she is portrayed as a very powerful and dangerous witch.

So at the final battle, does Neville faces off with Bellatrix to avenge his parents? No.

Who kills her? Was it a fighter that has been trained to duel and has experience in combat? No. It was a housewife that always seen doing houshold charms, but could not even take care of bogart. It was Molly Weasley who took out Belatrix.

After all the hoslitiy between Belatrix and Longbottom, having a simple housewife kill her off was very anti-climatic. Pathetic really.

**3- _The incosistancy of the facts of Parseltounges._**

The biggest pet peeve is the one that made me put the book down and it was over a week later before I could force myself to finish the book. All the way back in 2nd book, we hear that parseltounge is rare and most wizards cannot use it. In fact its so rare that within the books only 3 wizards in past 1000 years have been named to use it= Salazar Slytherin, Tom Riddle aka Voldemort, and Harry Potter. The 2nd book also showed that Ron can not understand it.

Yet how does Ron and Hermione get into the Chamber of Secrets in 7th book without Harry's help? Why Ron hisses 'open' to get in. WTF! We are suppose to believe the laziest boy in Harry's year remembers what that hiss sounded like 5 years later? Remember that he was worried about his sister at the moment and that he can't remember simple stuff from classes. I heard later it was supposedly "Harry talks in his sleep" *and would say/hiss 'open' so years of this Ron knows it ... again WTF! Even if tis from when Harry opened the locket, Ron wouldn't know the difference between a hissed "open" and "don't you talk to me! I'm angry for you taking that last piece of chocolate!"

I've heard its because Ron listened when Harry opened the locket in book 7, more believable than the sleep talking but it still has issues of being impossible.

If he heard Harry using a spell like the 'wingardium leviosa', _(a spell that used actual words and not hissing)_ he could remember it, as he knew the words that were said then. But Harry was_ hissing_ and most hissing to human ears sounds the same. And just because you hear it, does not mean you can pronounce it correctly. It would be like an English speaker trying to say a Japanese word without being able to read the language. we hear the word 'tori' but depending on the subtlety of how it was said (TO-ri or to-RI) it could mean either bird or bridge! and native Japanese speakers usually talk fast so a foreigner doesn't pick up on the differences.

In short , Ron may have hissed, but everyone can too. As its a girls restroom, there are bounds to be hundreds of angry girls going in there in the past (Myrtle only died 50 yrs ago) and ...well as a woman I can tell you that when we do get angry, some of us do slurr our words so its a hiss,(done it myself) but there are only two times the chambers were opened before 7th book- 50 years ago and in Harry's 2nd year. Its simple really, Ron may have hissed but he does not have parseltounge so there should be no magic to empower the hiss. But after all the books giving that impression, in the 7th book, Rowling said "to hell with continuity!"

Of course there are other things wrong with the HP series. IF you see something that I didnt' include and want to drop a note, go ahead, but give both what's wrong and the reason why its wrong. If I agree, I'll add it below as I did for these=

**_4- Hermione and the Obliviations_**

"And god, was that a terrible book. Did JK fall asleep and forget what she'd wrote? I mean, in the book, Hermione obliviates her parents and then a few chapters later, they're caught in a muggle cafe and she's told to obliviate the muggles, but she panics and says she doesn't know how and might mess up their minds. Right. Might mess up the mind of complete strangers. Never mind her poor parents. " -

Summited by _She Who Cannot Be Turned_

**5- The Problem of the Fidelius Charm and consistancy**

"Hi, I just read your profile where you mentioned the three worst things about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and thought I'd point out another large inconsistency. Well, I say inconsistency, I could very well use the term "Plot hole as long and deep as the Grand Canyon, but twenty times as wide."

When the gang are at Shell Cottage, where Bill and Fluer live, Bill states quite clearly that the house is under the protection of the Fidelius Charm, with him as the secret keeper. He then states that the rest of his family are staying at their Aunt Muriel's house, with Arthur as secret keeper.  
Here's the problem - James and Lily hid with Harry under the Fidelius Charm. Neither one of them was the secret keeper. Peter Pettigrew was the secret keeper, but did not live with them. Instead he had a hideout in another location.

See the plot hole?

Even if you argued that neither Bill nor Arthur actually owned the houses they were hiding in, there is still the flaw of them being able to live in the respective houses. Clearly there was nothing to either prevent James or Lily from being their own secret keeper or from forcing Peter to stay where they could keep an eye on him at all times.

Either Rowling did not think this through, or James and Lily were very very very very very stupid!

Summited by_ sprinter1988_

member- _thehelpinghand_ also had something to say about this charm=

"I was just reading through the things that you find wrong with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and another plot whole that can be found is also around the whole Fildius Charm thing. The Secret keeper must speak or write down the name of the house and only they can speak the location freely as shown in book 5. However there are four problems with this:  
1\. Bill stated the location of the house were ARTHUR was the secret keeper.  
2\. The death eaters were able to get in number twelve even though the location was not spoke or written down by the secret keepers.  
3\. How the hell did people find the Potter cottage?  
4\. How did Dobby take Harry, Ron and Hermione to Bill - Ron wasn't the secret keeper."

Again, thanks for the info :)

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A rant why I think Molly isn't a great mother or even a good mother.

Yes, she loves her kids, but that alone isn't what makes a good mother.

I'll go into detail of Molly's negative traits.

I first I'd like to say, I used to love Molly, in the first time reading the books I really did. But on re-reading and seeing some things, I now see how imperfect she is.

She is certainly not the worst mother _but she is not the Saint of Motherhood some fans make her out to be._ She is a loving mother, no doubt about it but I stop short of saying she is a decent mother.  
She has many faults, most are overbearing, borderline control freak and not accepting her youngest for who they are.

-1st book= First we hear the twins asking why Percy got new stuff (new robes AND an Owl) "Because he's a prefect." was Molly's answer. Sounds okay, I can understand wanting to reward a kid who reached a high position in school... BUT take in consideration other factors=  
Later on the train Ron tells Harry the family couldn't afford to buy him a new wand so he is sent to school with Charlie's old wand that id described as beaten up and Ron even says that the unicorn hair is nearly poking out.  
Remember that the unicorn hair is the CORE of that wand. Since its nearly poking out, it means that wand is worn or chipped the core is nearly exposed and that can damage a wand. Ron DOES need a good wand for school performance.

Percy really didn't NEED new robes, he was able to deal with the 2nd hand robes for years. While new robes are nice, they are not mandatory for school performance. Hogwarts has hundreds of school owls, Percy could have used them so he didn't NEED a new owl.

Also that year, Mr/Mrs Weasly & Ginny go to Romania to visit Charlie at Christmas. We find out in 3rd book that travel is not cheap when Ron says most of the Lottery winnings his dad won went to the family trip to Egypt. So even if Molly bought those things for Percy, if she was really a great mother she would have told Arthur (whom I suspect didn't know since Molly is main one shopping for kids) that they couldn't go to see Charlie since they need to buy a proper wand for Ron at x-mas time.

-2nd year = Yes she has a right to yell at the twins & Ron for sneaking out ... but not in front of a guest and/or someone that is not family. Since that was the very first time Harry met her (few seconds at the platform does not count), Harry can NOT be considered 'extended family for the Weasleys'. So yes, a good mother would scold her kids for sneaking out ..but only after taking them into a different room so the guest wouldn't witness a family issue.

And not only did Molly scold the twins & Ron, she screamed at them (which is never good) and worse she screamed in front of Harry (again someone not of the family shouldn't be witness to a family issue). THEN one twin tried to tell her that the Dursleys were starving harry, she yells "YOU!" at the poor boy, then proceeds to butter some bread for Harry...and that was it.  
Really, one of her sons tell her a friend was being starved and she did nothing, asked no further questions. The action of buttering the toast showed she heard the comment. But she acted as if there was nothing the twins can say that could be taken seriously.

Oh I forgot she was also comparing all three (Ron, Fred & George) to the older 3 boys (Percy, Charlie & Bill). Anyone whose raised kids knows that it a bad move as it causes resentment between younger & older siblings.

-3rd book \- at Christmastime when Harry sneaks into Hogsmead= while looking at various candies like acid pops, blood pops, fizzing whizbees, at Honeydukes Ron tells Harry about the time one of the twins had given him an acid pop and it ate a hole in his tongue.  
((Sounds bad to readers... but remember that the HP world has those trick candies and one of them are the Acid Pops which is currently sold at Honeydukes so they can not really be harmful or angry parents would have demanded the pops couldn't be sold. So I am assuming its a gag, like turning into giant canaries= Its a transfiguration that makes the hole (not actual hole being eating through it) that does not last long))

So if the twins give their brother a trick candy, it won't last long. But Molly's reaction? Ron tells Harry that she walloped him (the twin who gave the candy) good with a broom. So she didn't spank the twin ... she beat his ass with a broom! and due to the wording I doubt it was with the bristle end but with the hard handle.

-4th book\- Again she yells at the twins in front of guests : Harry & Hermione. This time she also is yelling in front of two younger siblings who were not part of the behavior. Molly goes farther - too far- this time though ranting and raving where the guests and younger siblings can hear her.

She goes so far as saying "they have no ambition" and "that while they have brains, they aren't using them". She goes even farther saying "if they carry on they way they're going, they will end up in front of the Improper Use of Magic office." and "I don't know where we went wrong with them".  
Above is all from Goblet of Fire, ch. 6 "Weasley Wizarding Wheezes".

This shows she really doesn't think that the twin's can realize their ambition of creating and running their own business, a joke shop. Heck it shows that she doesn't think highly of the twins, period.

Molly never asks them if they have researched what it takes to make a business, if they know what they are getting into. No instead she destroys their creations. Yeah some were questionable, but not all their products. Her actions made sure they would go behind her back and left them without a parent to talk to for advise.

-5th book- at the end when Harry meets the order and the twins at the platform. Molly comments in a hesitant way that the twins are going good in their shop. It happened after Ron comments about he dragon hide jackets the twins are wearing, and they say how well the shop is doing.  
I think her comment was something like "I guess... they do have a mind for business". The issue I read so long ago showed she was hesitant to say something good about the twins & their shop.

Gee thanks for the support mom!

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A bit more on the Weasleys=

I've noticed the oddity of the Weasleys and the accountant cousin that is a squib.

I've always thought the Weasleys were a bit hypocritical in dealing with the squib cousin.  
I've seen some appologists say "Squib cousin is nasty over having no magic, like Filcth, and refuses to talk to Molly, who gets upset" .

l call bullshit to that. The book was clear, it is not that "they don't talk TO the cousin", its "the Weasleys don't talk ABOUT the cousin." There is a very strong difference there.  
Even if the cousin wasn't around, they can talk ABOUT him if they wanted to. So why was it "they don't talk ABOUT him'? I seriously doubt its because of his job.

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Some more on Hermione Granger and her parents=

Ever noticed how little time Hermione spends with her parents?

On the visits, first let me explain my math, for summer they (normally) have the last week of June, then all of July & August, that's about 68 days, then two weeks, 14 days, of winter Hols. 6814=82  
So once school starts kids see their family only 82 days out of the year. We will treat this like the books summers are included in the school year that happens after it. Summer between yrs 1 and 2 then are calculated in Year 2.

year 1= goes home on x-mas, On the visits, first let me explain my math, for summer they (normally) leave on the 3rd Thursday of June, then all of July & August, that's an average of about 68 days, then two weeks, 14 days, of winter Hols. 6814=82  
So once school starts kids see their family only 82 days out of the year.

Save for 4th year due to Tri-Wizard Tournement, summer is shorter, students didn't get home until July 3rd, stays at Hogwarts for x-mas so students have 52 days for summer instead of the 68

year 1= goes home on x-mas, = = sees parents 82 days out of the year.  
year 2= stays home during summer, stays at Hogwarts for x-mas = = sees parents 82 days out of the year  
year 3 = stays home during summer (save for last few days at Leaky Cauldron), stays at Hogwarts for x-mas = = sees parents 80 days out of the year  
year 4= stays home during summer (save for last week for the World Cup), stays at Hogwarts for x-mas = = sees parents 75 days out of the year  
year 5= This one is tricky. We know that the students didn't get home until July 3rd for the summer. Then Harry has letters from Hermione and Ron and figures they are at same place but not know when Hermione gets there. Once Harry arrives at Grimmauld on Aug. 6th, we see that Hermione is already there. So July 3rd to Aug. 6th is 34 days. WE are not sure when Hermione gets there. She spends x-mas at Grimmauld = sees parents for 33 days or less

Unfortunately I cannot remember year 6 summer well. I know that Harry spent half of summer at the Burrow but can't remember about Hermione. And for year 7 = The guard arrives on July 27, Hermione is one of the "7 Harrys". We do not know when she left her parents. We know she did spend some time as she obliviated them this summer.

Since the first 5 years are only time we can accurately (mostly damn TWT), lets stick with those. in 5 years time Hermione only sees her parents for 352 days. That's about one year worth of seeing her parents spread over 5 years.

I've heard people yelling "But she had to go to be safe!" I answer with "So it didn't' matter if her parents were not safe? After all, they were left behind and didn't get to come with her." If people thought that DEs would go to Granger's house, see she's not there and leave her parents alone, they are stupid. The DEs would still kill her parents.  
Then Hermione goes home for x-mas in 5th year, only to leave her parents and go to Grimauld. Its bad enough that they didn't get to see their daughter for the full 8 weeks they have with their daughter in the summer, she ups and leaves them during x-mas! ...did she arrive before Christmas?

"But Arthur Weasley was injured!" Yes but Hermione is not a healer, her presence could not change anything. "But Ron needed the support!" Not to be callous but Ron had his family, again Hermione's presence could not change things.  
Hermione needs to spend some with her _own_ parents.

6th year was a repeat of how little time she spends with her family.

Frankly I'm not surprised at her attitude in 7th book= She showed more problems of obliviating strangers in the café (when DEs caught up to them) than she did with wiping away 17 years (16 years of her life 9 months of pregnancy) when she took away her parents' memories of her.

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_A lil rant on Remus Lupin,_

I've had thoughts on him for a while but didn't think to add him to my rant after Molly until I gave a review to dreaming of rocketships on the story "Black Knight". I've seen many fics have Remus call Harry "my cub".

"His cub"? WTF Harry is not his cub! IF he was, then Lupin would have tried to do more for Harry. Hell Remus didn't even tell Harry his connection to Harry's parents until the end of the school year, when he confronted with Sirius Black and Pettigrew.  
I hear many fans try to defend Remus saying "well Dumbledore likely asked/ordered him not to approach Harry before and to keep a distance at Hogwarts". If so, then that just proves Remus puts Dumbledore's wants ahead of Harry's needs.

And what about after Harry knew who Remus was? In 4th year, when Harry is entered the tournament, he never hears anything from Remus, only Sirius.  
Hell, Sirius came back to the country that wants to have him executed on sight (the dementor's 'kiss on sight'), lived in a cave and ate rats just to give support to Harry. Remus was never heard from during the Tournament.

Then there is the issue of Remus choosing Harry to be the godfather to his son. As dreaming of rocketships pointed out, it was a bit unwise as Harry was on the run and being "Undesirable #1"

Really, I have to agree, it was a bad idea for Remus to choose Harry. Harry was only 17, had no experience of having a responsible adult to take care of him (so didn't know what do to himself), no job and was on the run and had Voldemort wanting to kill him.

Remus ="Hey, you're the last connection I have to my old friends, despite the fact I never tried to contact you before or after the time I taught at Hogwarts. You're 20 years younger them me, only 17 yourself and on the run. Will you be my son's godfather?"

Harry = "I don't know why you're asking me, someone who has a high chance of being killed and not someone who is likelier to survive, like Bill. I'm on the run and we don't know how long this will take, so if you get killed before I finish my mission better hope the grandparents (though you know the grandfather has a high chance of dying because, you know, being muggleborn) stay alive to take care of your son. Though I never got to experience what a father or godfather is suppose to do and the one male influence in form of my Unlce is verbally abusive and neglectful, sure, I'll be honored to be the godfather."

-_- yeah right

Also ever notice the fics that try to put Remus as the most intelligent one of the Marauders and often make Sirius ...average if not dumb? This is despite the facts=

1- in bk 3 during the x-mas scene in the Three Broomsticks, Minerva said that Sirius and James were brilliant.

2- bk 3 again, it was James & Sirius that found how to become animagi, said to be a difficult task. It wasn't just power or determination. They had to figure out how to do it by themselves (without teachers) Remus did not help out there, in fact he didn't know about it until they succeeded.

3- bk 5? - When Harry saw Snape's worse memory, it showed the Marauders during O.W.L.s, its implied again that Sirius was quite smart.

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I have many stories on my "favorite story" list, I have come across a few rare finds in the Harry Potter-verse that have wonderful sence of humor=

_"Humor Me" _by StormyFireDragon = ch 2 - "ALBUS DUMBLEDORE," yelled Minerva. "HOW DARE YOU TRY AND INVADE THE MIND OF A STUDENT?"

By now the entire hall was listening to the conversation. Albus was trying to say that he had nothing to do with it and that the voice was lying. Minerva slapped him across the face. When she was done, Poppy stood up and repeated the gesture. From there Pomona took a shot. Filius came up next with a lead pipe and belted him one. Leslie Neilson came up next and slapped the old man. From there a nun with a guitar came up and crashed the instrument over his head. After that a hooker came up and hit him with her purse. Hagrid walked up next cracking his knuckles. Severus was wearing an evil grin on his face as he took a swing with a baseball bat. Sybil Trelawney was waving her tennis racket. An old lady sprayed him in the face with pepper spray. Harry looked around in shock. There was a line of people waiting to take a crack at Dumbledore that made a circuit of the hall all the way to the door.

"Where did all of these people come from?" asked Harry looking around. "Isn't that a priest punching the Head Master in the stomach?"

"It is," said Hermione in awe. "It looks like the Pope is next."

_"Partially Kissed Hero"_ by Perfect Lionhart. I have asked to get permission to add a very funny quote. But respect for a fellow author's property prevents me from adding it UNTIL I get that permission. This story is well written and adds a twist to the "evil Dumbledore" and "Smart/independent Harry" stories. I am only on the 9th chapter and I love the scences with confused Draco mubbling about "The Cononel" and in ch 8= the muggle ignorant Dumbles trying to warn the 'American Ministery of magic' about the threat of the new Dark lord =Cononel Sanders! XD


	3. Harry 'can do NO wrong' Potter

Hard to remember this still taking place in FIRST year so Harry is ELEVEN and Hermione is TWELVE much much too young to be so physically in love with one another ... keeping sex way way off to the sidelines ... nice you still keeping them very innocent and pure. But I love their love story (I'm not a Harmony shipper myself. But your writing has my heart beating a romantic heart for Harmony. That shows the signs of a good writer).

The moment you wrote in Hermione's view point of her first glimps of Harry ... Harry dressed as Darcy from 'Pride and Prejudice' ... I knew that what I was going to read in ... was straight out of a Jane Austen novel. I'm not disappointed.

Although the first thirty chapters of this story is still based in first year ... Harry is still eleven; and Hermione is still twelve ... them acting like a young couple works. It doesn't really throw me off reading the way the pre-teens are actually acting like sixteen - seventeen year old young teenage love. Sexual thoughts are in now form in Harry or Hermione's thoughts or concerns.

With you describing the goblin nation, wizard nation, and the muggle nation ... it fits that the feel is nineteenth century ... although it's actually late twenty century ... seeing how Harry Potter's first year was the 1991/92 years.

You messed up big time in this chapter. You pretty much destroyed credibility to your MU character Dan Granger. You have set him up as a very loving; reasonable father. But in this chapter you had him behave as a loving; reasonable father ... if very panic where he (rightfully) got Hermione away from Harry (and Gringotts) got her home. That's what any sane parent would do when they learn ... watch their child in an exteme and life threatening situation. Plus learning that your twelve year old child (not quite yet thirteen) had mated (married) ... yeah any twenty first human father would blow his stack.

But where you lost your credibility with this character is how you wrote everyone single person reacting about his panic decision. Hermione has given her father a silent treatment. Not just that ... but basically kicked her father out of her life and heart. His wife (your other made up character Emma) has cut her husband out cold. Even lecturing him on his treatment of their daughter. Not sitting down with her husband and talking through his fear and panic ... and her own ... over what they know what their daughter had been through.

Also seems like everyone is taking Harry's side. Harry can do no wrong. So he has more right to Hermione then her natural parents. No. But at least you didn't have Harry kill Dan for ripping Hermione away from him. At least so far Harry had turned a cold shoulder towards Dan at the train station.

This judgement that you had for Dan Granger at this point of the story seriously surprises me. I mean come on I know you are a Harry and Hermione shipper. But for crying out loud you named Hermione's parents Dan and Emma. (As in after Dan Radcliffe and Emma Watson whom played Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. I'm just shocked that you trashed Dan's character as you did).

'...' is still high on my top ten favorite powerful!Harry stories of all time ... it will remain there. But I'm just shocked on how you treated Dan Granger at this point in the story.

Okay I've NO good feelings for either Harry and Hermione in this chapter. Especially Hermione. They have NO right to treat Dan Granger this way. Dan is Hermione's father. He reacted to the very extermely life threating situation his daughter in as any loving HUMAN father would. I get that Hermione was upset to be torn from Harry's side without calming reassurence that Dan wasn't going to prevent Harry and Hermione to be apart for good. I get that it was a high exteme situation. But for Hermione to pretty much kick her father from her life. I know the magic wards were connected to Hermione for her protection. But a twelve year old to take over her parents home is ridicious. Also up to this point Dan has been written as a loving and very reasonable father. Hermione is written as a very immature child having a major tantam. Nowhere ready to be "mated" to her soulmate. You rushed the mated aspect to this story way to early on.

I'm having a very difficult time getting past this chapter. It's been a week since I read it ... and I finally got to read the first part of chapter thirty seven ... I'm past the whole Colin was disappointed in being sorted in Gryffindor (which by now I figure you absoutly hate that house) ... and the entire student body teachers have walked out during Dumbledore's welcoming speech.

But how you truly treated Dan Granger last chapter has me truly pissed off with you. I mean you have the perfect scape goats in Dumbledore and Lucius ... that I just don't understand why you needed a conflict in the light side camp ... and why you chose Dan Granger. Hermione's father. Whom you have written for thirty five chapters as level headed, loving, rational human being. You have written that he honesty had no problem what so ever of Hermione and Harry sleeping together all night long on the couch and then in a bed for crying out loud.

Than wham bam all because Dan had a major and reasonable panic attack by jerking Hermione out of Harry's bed ... and telling Hermione that she would never see him again ... Oh and by the way all this happened **RIGHT AFTER DAN AND EMMA HAD WATCH THE MEMORY OF HARRY AND HERMIONE FIGHTING THREE GOBLINS. WATCHING AS THEIR DAUGHTER'S LIFE WAS AT STAKE WHEN THREE GOBLINS WERE TRYING TO TAKE HER DOWN. THERE GOBLINS WHOM HAVE BEEN FIGHTING THEIR ENTIRE LIVES ... WITH HERMIONE JUST LEARNING (ONE YEAR) OF FIGHTING. WATCHING AS A GOBLIN WAS GOING TO DEBOWL HER ... IF HER PROTECTIVE ARMOR WASN'T THERE TO PROTECT HER THEN HERMIONE WOULD BE DEAD. THEN WATCHING AS HARRY KILLED THE GOBLIN IN A FIGHT TO DEATH. THEN WATCHING AS HARRY AND HERMIONE WERE MATED IN GOBLIN STYLE.**

Okay Hermione is only twelve (not yeat thirteen) and Harry just turned twelve. You have this story set when J.K. Rowlings has set it ... which was 1992. This is not a stage where children need to be 'mated' or married to one another ... this is England for crying out loud. This is not middle east where they marry their children off ...

I wonder if you remembered what your wrote in chapter 29 as Harry was explaining about the Goblins finding their mates to Dan. You know how Dan himself was pleased with himself **NOT** to push his own belief system onto Harry. Here we are in chapter 35 and Harry mated with Hermione **WITHOUT** first talking with her about it. Hermione of course thinks Harry can do NO WRONG so of course she'll enter the mating ritual without evening pausing to think for one minute what it means fully. (but hey thats kids for you).

You had Hermione holding a sword (wooden) at her father's chest ... with seriously death in her eyes. You have Emma; her mother not trying to be there for her husband ... whom she fully knew was still in panic mode ... as she herself is in ... but firmly in her daughter's side. You have Emma shaming Dan for being a good and loving parent.

Hermione gets her way ... she gets to be back in Harry's arms. I wonder if Hermione is going to ever get to the point of looking at the situation in her father's eyes. (Perhaps when she's a mother herself? Probably not ... seeing how you are saying that both Harry and Hermione can do NO wrong here).

Your theme so far has been to look at things in other perspection. Muggle ... Wizard and Goblins. I wonder when you are going to get Hermione (whom is fully Muggle) to look at things through her MUGGLE father's way of thinking ... instead of her new insight of Goblin way ... I mean come on Hermione is known as the smartest witch of all time for a reason.

In chapter 36 you had wrote Hermione as a little child whom is throwing a huge ass tantum for losing her toy. But gets her way in the end.

I honesty really seriously don't know if I can finish this story. I want to really. I really want to. But I don't know if I can get past your uncalled for treatment of Dan Granger.

Also I don't know if I can honesty get pass that Harry NEVER loses. That whatever fight he's in ... I don't feel the hitch in my breath in thinking that Harry may honesty be in danger of being seriously injured ... because the way you wrote Harry (and yes I have read quite a few reviews of this story during my first 36 chapters of straight reading) and I can tell that you haven't stopped the tread of an unbeatable Harry in your 106 chapter novel.

You need your hero to lose every once awhile. You need to have your hero to be humble. You need to have your hero to have their faults. You need your hero to stumble. That way your hero understands why they deserve to win in the end ... why they deserve to be a hero.

Your Harry is no hero.


	4. Inviting you to join

Hello!

We would like to invite you to join the 7th season of The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. The Quidditch League is a successful writing competition that started in May 2013 and has since progressed through 6 seasons of Harry Potter fanfiction writing set out in a Quidditch game format. (Meaning, while you will be writing about anything and everything HP related, you'll be doing at as part of a "Quidditch team", under a specific position, like Seekers or Keepers, etc.). We are soon about to begin our seventh season and would love to see you there!

The forum was created as a means of bringing people and their love of Harry Potter and writing together, to make new friends, work with like-minded people, step out of your comfort zone, as well as participate in a fun competition where you write and then receive detailed, constructive feedback on your work so you can improve your writing skills. It is relatively laid back, and although we have rules, the main focus is to have fun and make friends!

Of course, if writing's not your cup of tea, we have other options for you, liking writing for the Daily Prophet ( topic/218720/176015255/1/Daily-Prophet-Issue-1), which is our forum's "newspaper" that has a lot of fun articles and competitions you can write for.

If you are interested and/or are curious, please follow the link and read the rules and regulations ( topic/218720/175730009/1/Rules-Regulations-Updated-for-Season-7) to gain an insight into how the competition works. If you are confused regarding anything or have any questions, we have a comprehensive Q&A thread ( topic/218720/175742934/1/General-Q-A). If you still have questions beyond that, please don't hesitate to ask, as there are plenty of people on the forum who have participated in one or more seasons and know the ins and outs of the competition well. We also have a practice round ( topic/218720/175779792/1/Practice-Round), which you can use to test the water, to see which position or team you'd like to sign up for, or how the competition works in general.

Tryouts for all players will open on March 17th, i.e. the coming Sunday, at 6PM UTC. A countdown timer has been added at the top of the tryouts page for your convenience ( topic/218720/175779424/1/Player-Tryouts-OPEN-FOR-CAPTAINS-ONLY-opens-17th-March-for-other-players), and we hope to commence the first round of the season on March 31st. Every team has a captain who has completed at least one full season before, meaning every team has at least one experienced player to help out where needed. In the meantime, the general chat thread ( topic/218720/175742746/1/The-Cheer-Squad) is open at all times to come and talk to others.

It is a relatively long running competition, running for at least 6 months, so if you don't feel like you're able to commit long-term that is perfectly fine! We also have options to be a reserve player as well as a Reserve League ( topic/218720/176193104/1/Reserve-League) where you can submit for whatever round or position you want, whenever you want, no pressure! But signing up as a reserve means you'll also get a chance to play as a part of a team, too!

We hope to see you around!

The link to the forum is here, if you would like to check it out! forum/The-Quidditch-League-Fanfiction-Competition-inactive/218720/

Apologies if you've already received a similar message previously.

Write on!

The QLFC Mod Squad


	5. Harry Beloved God Potter

Girl, I love Draco and I like to say that we are dating. Also what is you grammar so bad like  
Don't mean to be rude but you said the word in you last chapter so why do you say my you know who. Like ewwwww and also he is breaking his character. Btw just a heads up why are you so weird in this story. Sorry to be mean but wtf is this story. If you want to read it don't it's not that good. Aging sorry

See, when they introduced Harry, I just knew there was going to be a threesome between him, Draco, and Ebony (Enoby?). Chapter 5, when we learned Draco and Harry are bisexuals, cemented that belief for more.

I read the first paragraph and... Why is a girl having a girlfriend "ew" and HOGWARTS IS NOT IN ENGLAND!? ugh. Thanks for the repost so I can enjoy? I'm somewhat cynical in my humour at times I suppose.

Girl you have problems sorry

One of my readers suggested that I check this legend of a crap pile out after I parodied the exact type of person who probably wrote the original. And it was...strangely entertaining. If only to cringe at and feel better about my own work.

I mean, I ain't perfect. But I'm not THIS bad, either.

Thank you so much for reposting this.

A timeless masterpiece indeed. I give my regards to the two wonderful girls who made this. Your legacy will continue with the twelve year old Potterheads who cut their wrists for Draco.

Yay ! Finally Found This Fic  
And Yay Finally I Can die 'cuz i got Brain CancerD

"Please don't do that, (sending death threats to fanfic authors) even to people who are actually bad authors." I mean they have a point. Yes someone wrecked the whole HP universe with one fanfic, but still, that's no reason for "prepz" to send death threats (or saying something like "kill yourself"), and it's probably illegal if you get caught commenting death threats or "suicide bating" and the OP actually dies (I'm sure I saw a post on this rule somewhere, I forget though), granted we'll probably never know who Tara actually is. Even if it wasn't illegal, it's still a dick move (especially if OP was a minor, and you shouldn't do it.

I HAVE THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK BEHIND ME

AND ME AND MY FRIEND SPENT THREE HOURS READING THIS TO EACH OTHER OVER THE PHONE INSTEAD OF THE ACTUAL BOOK. WE BEGAN READING IT A FEW DAYS AGO AND MARATHONED FROM CHAPTER 15 TO 44. INSTEAD OF READING THE ACTUAL NEW BOOK

WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE

Now, I had heard of all the infamy of this being the absolute WORSE fanfiction of all time. And now that I have read it, meh. Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles is worse, I recommend it to those who need to induce vomit but this didn't do it.  
Listen, this is still REALLY REALLY bad, in fact, it is on the top ten worst ff I have read. But THE worst? Nah, others rival it well. But still, this story is a piece of trash. For one, I'm Wiccan, and I'm 100% sure that the only way Pentagrams/Pentacles are evil is the Christian view of it. I'm one for being a dark person and know many bands, but still not technically "goffic", and this made me want to burn my laptop. You want to give goths a bad name? This will do it. It views depression in a stupid day to day thing and the slitting of wrists normal. I mean, by god this is garbage.  
Want to read some great ff barf? I recommend-  
1\. Hogwarts; School of Prayer and Miracles  
2\. Starkit's Prophecy (even if you didn't read Warriors, just read it anyway)  
3\. ObsidianWing's Quest (more like one night stand)  
4\. The Sun's Final Light (okay that isn't a trollfic, but hey, I wrote it so what's the difference :')

May Satan save yo souls preps

The best part is saying that Sirius was the dog father because it's kind of accurate

I'm GONNA... SAY THE N-WORD

(THAT's RACIST YOU CAN'T SAY THE N-WORD)

*gunshots *screams* *explosions*  
breaking glass and car skidding as nana promptly collides with the car

Mrs. ObAMA, I've done it. I've stopped racISM

Thank you Skipper, now I am free to roam this earth.

(Not if I have anything to say about it, and I do! I'm gonna say the N-WORD!)

MRS. OBAMA GET DOWN

(NIGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAA)

the white house abruptly exploding

Mrs. OBAMA, where are you? Are you okay?

She is no longer with us, Skipper. And with her death, I am finally free to say the n-word whenever I want.

(Not if I have anything to say about it, Trump, and I do. Prepare for my CIVIL RIGHTS BEAM)

Martin Luther King Jr. uses his civil rights beam and music starts playing as Donald Trump is screaming in agony

(SKIPPER MY SON; you wouldn't let me die, would you?)

SHUT UP CRACKER

Donald Trump screaming and dissolving into dust

Hey Kowalski, who's that guy in front of us rising out of the water?

IT IS I, BARACK OBAMA.

Mr. Obama? What are you doing here?

I have come to exempt my revenge on you penguins for allowing my wife to die at the hands of Donald Trump.

But Mr. Obama, we did everything we could.  
I've already made up my mind.

MR. OBAMA, DON't DO IT. THIS WON't BRING MICHELLE BACK

(NIIIIIIHGGGGGAGAGAGAGAGAG)

the penguins' airship explodes and the penguins scream for the help of god

Skipper's log, number 32: Barack Obama has struck us out of the sky by saying the n-word.

It just doesn't make sense skipper, Obama would never say the n-word.

I don't understand it either Kowalski, but some things you just gotta live with. Unless, D0NALD TRUMP, I should've known it was you.

Donald Trump inside of Barack Obama: Skipper, my son, I see you've discovered my master plan. Now that I have taken over Obama's body, I have free reign to say the n-word whenever and however I please.

So what you're saying is that you're inside of another man?

Donald Trump inside of Barack Obama: Why yes, I suppose you could say that.

Skipper: But Mr. Trump, wouldn't that make you GAAAAAAAAAYYY?

Donald Trump inside of Barack Obama: N0, this can't be!

Donald Trump's screams of anguish becoming more and more distant

Well boys, we did it. Racism is no more.

Hello Skipper.

Mr. Obama, what are you doing here?

Barack Obama: I came to thank you for your great service to this country.

Skipper: No thanks neccesary Mr. Obama.

Barack Obama: As a token of my gratitude, I'd like to give you the n-word pass.

Skipper: Mr. Obama, it is an honor to call you my nigga.

Barack Obama: And as to you, old friend.

Me and my sister were reading and we love it soooo much maaann. Y'all know to rite a storrry. Janelle says hiiii y'all.

great story, 10/10, fuck the preps for flaminn the stoory..11!1!

This is simultaneously the best and worst fanfic to ever exist. I'm in fucking stitches.

This story makes me want to forcefully unite the world's nuclear powers so that we can all commit ritual suicide to please the one true God of this realm.

Vampire Potter

I LUV DIS BOK WIT MY HOLE COLD HART. FVCK DA PREPZ! THEY DUMB AZ SHEET. I LUV U VAMPIR HARY POTER

what, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck

Thanks for the brain cancer.

this is too good to be satire

I'm actually crying, this is the worst thing I've ever read but it's so bad it's actually really funny, I'm wheezing

HOLY SHIT IT'S HERE

I WANT TO DIE I LOST 30 BRAINCELLS READING THE FIRST SENTENCE

Thank you, Kitten-Guy for updating the story and to the author... (whisper) you need help! I weep for yet laugh at you!

I have just finished the first chapter and learned why the original author's name was "bloody wrist". It makes too much since

I feel sorry for the person who wrote this horrible story. They obvious have no life and no friends to write this story. My condolences for your writing.

This is the greatest thing I have ever read. I most definitely lost some brain cells, but it was so worth it. I'm pretty sure I was laughing through the entire thing.

WHY WOULD YOU ON PURPOSELY WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS

As the father of a pretty fucked up story, I will have to read this sometime.

My story contains the rape/gang rape of a little 8 year old girl, who also gets made into a tortured sex slave and gets knives shoved up her holes.

The description of clothing is gooooooood

why am I not surprised that there is an equivalently horrible fanfic on Twilight

Should this even be considered a fanfic AT ALL.

I swear to God this shit is like Twilight on steroids

I swear to God this shit is like Twilight on steroids

How the FUCK is thingie be rated M.

If you want to write about a sex scene, do not give the impression that you are uncomfortable about it

I hope whoever writes this garbage kills themselves

I have tried to read this more than three times and I still haven't managed to read at least half of it

So, I found out about this fic on a search to find the worst fanfic ever. Don't ask lol. This one takes the cake for sure. I didn't even know what the hell I was reading about half-way through. The spelling errors really make it difficult. I think it's pretty obvious the author was trolling, but the lengths they took and the amount of time they must have put into this pile of shit is really beyond me. It's like they had never read or watched Harry Potter before and wanted to throw in their little goth fantasies. My favorite parts: When Marty McFly randomly shows up, a bowl of cereal with blood, and when we find out Satan is actually Voldemort *Shock*. Best twist ever. :D

This story is really terrible. I know you didn't write it but that is the truth. I hope you're still active of the site because I need the rest of the original. The link didn't seem to work for me. I've been reading some of the commentaries which truly are hilarious. I'm working on my own and this stops at chapter 31 to 35. I know there were 44. Did the My Immortal site go inactive or something? But this is truly worth a lulz and I like how my commentary is turning out. I don't know where else to get the original since it was deleted off the site. I so wish I could've read all the flames. I know there were probably a lot since this fic is so horrible. It probably would've taken me all day to get through them if not the rest of my life.

Sorry for the long review.

really? this is so messed up. The caracters are all wrong and why are they all vampires? And voldemort sounds like a two thousand year old lady.

PPFFFFFF- Stark Naked. c': (I read all of the reviews.)

Friend... I have tears in my eyes.

This was truly a literary masterpiece. Thank you a hundred times for bringing this noble work to the attention of the masses. I agree with your theory that the original author was , as they say on the Internet, a "troll". Some sentences are so beautifully ridiculous that any skillful observer will be able to deduce that this is the creation not of an insane, rambling young lady, but of a trickster most devious. But the fact that men and women of stature are debating its credibility to this day is a testament to how deep and nuanced this parody is.

In fact, it goes further than that. There is a theme of adolescent obsession ingrained into the story, bringing into mind our own past selves who were similarly infatuated with a wide variety of things in our own teenage days. At its core, this story is about the time of our lives where we are growing into adults, yet we still have not fully shed our childhood innocence. even as the protagonist repeatedly indulges in acts one usually associates with adults, there is a clear aura of naivete, childishness, foolhardiness and, ultimately, insecurity to her. She is very much a child trying to grow into an adult, but clearly has a long way to go. I applaud the author for this beautiful portrayal of teenage.

The story seems shallow at first, but the more you analyze it, the more layers it showcases. A trait I have found in every great literary work I have read in my lifetime.

Finally, I must say it depresses me that there is no way to access this quiz the author keeps mentioning in her notes. It shall forever haunt me, the knowledge that I shall be going into the grave without knowing whether I am worthy of calling myself goffik, or whether I am a filthy prep deserving to be cast out of the company of civilized men and women.

AAAANYWAYS... This story makes me hate life.

And EVERY Satanist/Goth says "omfg" and "totally". And prep, my good man, means 'prepare', 'preperation', and things like that. And moi? A prep/poser?

AHAHAHAHA- hell no. If anything, I'm a punk nerd.

I remade the 7th chapter and people didn't cry randomly. And, might I add, the grammar was perfect. It didn't look like the Hulk keyboard smashed.

And you slit your wrists? Send me a picture - I want proof.

AND LASTLY, goths are just dark. Cutting themselves is not part of that. And Gothic is really an architecture.

Thank you, now I'm going to read something that didn't come from an infant's imagination. No - an infant is more educated than whomever wrote this crap.

Ladies and Gentleman, I have just found the most terribly funny story I've ever read. This is a pile of crap that I've ever read. Yet, it is so bad it's good.

But my iq dropped to -90.

I know my stories aren't to great either, but Jesus and Holy Mother Mary this is bad. I can't function properly.

You know, if you can't say Penis, Dick, Cock, etc. Then there might be something wrong with you dear. Also if you can't say Vagia, Pussy, opening. Something, other then "My Thingy and his thingy."

This is the best troll Fanfic I have ever read, but it is also a steaming pile of GARBAGE.

This is the worst thing I have ever read (even worse than 50 Shades of Grey)  
Basically this "Ebony" is a bitch to literally everyone, talks like a "prep", but still everyone loves her. What in the actual fuck.

And how it changes from Ebony's prespective suddenly to Malfoy's is just ridiculous. Also, it kind of seems so unrealistic for him to run down the hall naked and follow her into a classroom naked, and later he doesn't even feel embarrassed over it and he completely forgives her for what HE has done. What...? WHAT?

And when making a character, describe more about the character themselves. Why were they depressed? What are they like? Not just what they wear and the color of their stupid contacts. Please for the love of God or in apparently your case "Satin". hale sdatin guise.

And hating this dumb fanfiction does not make you a "prep" or "poser" it makes you a person with a brain.

Sorry if it was long, and for my grammar mistakes and run ons. :Y

I read one chapter and I threw a dictionary at my phone while reading this shit. Wtf did i read? This is very amuzing reading your failiure of a story. "He put his thingi in my you-know what". Go back to kindergarden, you need to learn how to spell proporly. " Volsemort and da Death Dealers!"... You must be joking. I dont think that enybody cares about what you decide to wear. You change your cloths like every chapter. Heres an idea: NOBODY GIVES A FUCK. Stop focusing so much on yourself and write a normal story. Not like this crap.

This story makes me want to forcefully unite the world's nuclear powers so that we can all commit ritual suicide to please the one true God of this realm.

Vampire Potter

After reading the whole thing, the cancer has spread from my brain to my entire being. Even my soul has cancer. Such an atrocious piece of literature should not exist. The author of such a piece should either be ashamed for writing such a horrid story, or proud of making a story so intentionally horrible. Either way, this story is terrible. It's easy to see why this fanfiction is infamous for how terrible it is. I would not recommend it to anyone, and if you are reading this review before reading the fanfic, stop and reevaluate your life decisions. It's not worth having this burned into your brain.

YESSSSSSSSS! I will win 50 $$$$ now! (i had a challange wifth my buds to see who could read the most) YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Dude thank you so much for posting this, it was a gem to read and reread… My best friend and I spent 7 hours reading this aloud. Where did you even find this?  
and side note, Tara Gilesbie IS a real person! I found her YouTube channel from around the time she had written My Immortal, and it was pretty interesting to see the face behind the genius (or madness).  
Thanks a bunch for bringing this wonderful/horrible thing into my life. It's definitely something else.  
Cheers!  
-kateflowrchild13

Laughing at your terrible old fic is truly an experience. But at least you know it'll never be bad as My Immortal. Eehehee, I really do take solace in that whenever I cringe at my old stories.

Wow, truly one of the greatest pieces of literature created this century. This author really understands her material. The story combines so many beautiful elements, exploring falling in teenage love while battling mental illness, and also shows the danger that comes with being a young girl. Definitely a 5/5. Absolutely worth the read and reread.

It's brilliant in its own way you know? It's contains absolutely everything you can screw up writing fanfiction :P

finishded .its so suicidally tara-ble. geddit? becuz da aufors name iz tara?

I have read all the chapters, it was an interesting experience, and pretty amusing from time to time.  
One thing i like about this fanfiction, that the author wrote so many chapters despite all the hate she recieved.

Well, maybe it was a troll, but what troll would write 44 chapters just to troll ?

Reading this, I was surprised to find out at the end that the author(I know it wasn't xXMispdnightEssenceXx) even read the Harry Potter books, or even read in general. It cause me to cry multiple times. Not because of 'feels' but because of grammar, spelling, and plot. Why I read it? Well, someone told me about it and I was curious. I now understand the saying, "Curiosity killed the cat." This fic was certainly an adventure, in the worst way possible, I hope I never have to experience something like this again.

lmao I'm crying. Someone make this into a movie, keeping the dialogues unchanged. 10/10 would watch

Thank you, author, for reposting this. It has made me realized that I appreciate all the horrible fics that I wrote when I was eleven. You have made me see the light.

Everyone else, the therapy I recommend is either marathoning a bunch of children's cartoons to regain your sanity or playing a bunch of video games until your brain goes numb. Thank you for this journey, it was awful. See ya!

I'm so happy to be back here reading the inspiration for J.K. Rowling's new play, "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child." I'm so excited My Immortal is finally getting the faithful stage adaptation it always deserved.

I have seen the devil, and I am no longer afraid to die. In fact, after reading every chapter, I long for it. Somebody please kill me.

For all of us that made it through this story and into the comments section, I applaud us. I applaud all of us, for being survivors of this fanfic. We may have died inside throughout the story, but what matters is that we survived. And we will continue to survive, tomorrow, and the day after that, and so on. We are survivors. We have stared into the abyss and it blinked first. We are all our own immortals now.

I agree that My Immortal is the worst fanfic ever I never even knew about it until yesterday when I said Dumblydore in a group chat and someone mentioned it I then read the first chapter and wanted to cry. I was sad that the worst fanfic ever had to be Harry Potter related. I am a huge Harry Potter fan and this really broke my heart. I actually found XXXbloodyrists666XXX,'s account and it has her bio and lets just say it is about the same as this fic. I'm not saying anything against you I'm just saying that this actually broke my heart that someone had the decency to make the Harry Potter fandom look down in shame when we hear of this you for posting the original chapters so we fans of the Harry Potter universe that post wonderful fanfictions on this site

This story is perhaps the most well thought-out, descriptive and self-expressive piece of literature I have ever read. The writing was magnificent. The use of descriptive language was on point. The spelling, the elavated language. The plot was very intriguing. The action was quite good.

In all, I believe this story deserves to be recognized for the glorious masterpiece that it is. I just cannot criticize it, it is just that perfect.

10/10 for being the most vomit-inducing, saddening piece of literature I've ever seen (if you could call it that). The effort made in this story was beautiful, though! It's always good to stay optimistic!

(And yes, I do know that the owner of this account did not write this. Just had to review.)

I am crying right now, for two reasons. One: I am laughing so hard my sides hurt. Two: It is kind of sad. The author was OBVIOUSLY very depressed when she wrote this, and coming from the point of view of someone who came frighteningly close to losing her best friend from suicide, this story brings back bad memories. I would like to send a message to everyone who put cruel reviews on the original story: I know the writing was just pure crap. I know that it gave you a headache to read it. But please, please think before you insult next time. The author blatantly stated that she was depressed and slitting her wrists. Maybe she hoped that, by writing a story, she would have some meaning in life. When someone if so obviously suffering, you should lie through your teeth to try and encourage them, not bash them until the depression gets worse. You could save a life.

I read to see if was actually this bad... I didn't think I could loose so many brain cells in one sitting. That was horrifying in the worst of ways.

OMG DROCA IS SO SMEXY X3, I HOPE HE DAS DA DOODLE SHMOODLE WITH EBUPNY. FROM SATAN405333  
P.S. HARRY POOTER IS TA BEST P0N3.  
P.S.S. kill yourself Ron you fucking weeaboo  
TANKU FO REDDING DIS U FANGZ

Thank you so much for reposting this masterpiece. May I point out that the original author predicted both the plot of the new Harry Potter play and Harry's "death" in book 7? Pure genius I tell ya, 10/10 would read again

Well, I am certainly dead inside after reading this

But, I've heard so much about this, so thank you for posting a copy of this infamous story! Now, I understand what the hubbub is about, so I can cross that off my bucket list

This needs to be made into a live action movie. It is the quintessential badfic. Forget Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, THIS is the play that needs to be made. Also, have a look here for an MSTing of it! (episodes 3 and 11): s/12087998/1/MST3kII...

This is an absolutely superb example of satire and should defnintely be read as such. The black towel with Marilyn Manson on it was a particular high point for me, as well as when she "slips up" and refers to Enoby as Tara towards the end after insisting the character wasn't a Mary Sue throughout. Bravo!

This story is menstral rage incarnite and made me physically cry.

This thing (I hesitate to call this a fic as that would be insulting to those who actually write serious fanfiction) is unique in its horribleness. I'm fairly sure the author is a troll. I HOPE she's a troll, else my faith in humanity will be shaken. If indeed she is a troll, this is an incredibly detailed plot to attain internet fame... It's actually kind of impressive.

Totally unbelievable and off. All the characters are completely wrong! But it is amusing.

This was a great book to read to my kids at bedtime. They haven't slept for weeks and this book really finished them off. I'm arranging their funerals next week but for now they lie in the garden shed. PS Hit up my youtube videos (TheSpiralPuppet).xoxo Goffik gurl

*sniffles* This is over? I loved it, and you, Tara, and Ebony, and Draco, and Vampire, and Willow is my favorite character, and I hate Voldemort and Snap and Loopin. I love this story with all my heart, and I will follow in your noble footsteps. This is a beautiful work.

My friend, while you may be gone, the legacy of this horrifying fanfic will never die.

Ladies and Gentlemen, 'My Immortal' is considered quite the legendary meme at this point on , hell it's possibly even a ritual of entry for those who are just getting into this...WONDERFUL website.

If any of you manage to get past the last few chapters, then congratulations, you're one with . If you're just starting, then may God have mercy on your soul, you poor, innocent person you.

Oh, also, make sure to spread this shit abound, It's always worth hearing the screams of your friends and family as they read the shit show that is 'My Immortal'.

10/10 "Made me wanna drink Bleach out of a champagne glass."

Kudos to you for going through all that misery uploading it just to spread the pain. Enoby would be proud of all the torture you had to go through.

I cant belive someone wrote this seriously. I want to bleach my brain.  
Thankyou xXMidnightEssenseXX for sharing this horror show with the rest of us.

I came here for ironic purposes. That being said, this some of the edgiest shit I've seen in the last DECADE. Holy fuck lmao

"I hope you never read something as awful as My immortal every again..."

Unfortunately, there is still Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. I think it is much superior to My immortal and deserves its Place as number one troll fic.

Hello my fellow homosapian and or homosexual or lizard friend. I am writing in regards to the beauty that was my immortal. I have the up most respect for the authors courageous changes to the original story of Harry Potter. Moreover, I relate entirely to Ebony and Draco's love story as well as their personalities. I thought it was beautifully written and the grammar was exception. I'm happy to report that whilst my friends and I were reading this work of art, we took pleasure in the story as well as its execution. So many complex topics and issues of depression, drug abuse, LGBTQ self harm as well as sexual awareness. We found it important in our young lives and wish such a work was taught in school. I wish the author of this work the best :)

Thank you for reposting this. I've decided it is my mission to make sure this never dies by sharing it with my students until I retire. This will be the fanfic historians and English teachers question forever, always debating 'real or troll'. I personally just hope this is a troll.

On a side note, I feel a lot better about myself and my poor writing attempts now. Maybe one day I'll actually publish something, knowing it will never be as terrible or as famous (or rather infamous) as My Immortal. Tara, if you ever find this, thank you for at least boosting my confidence. Publisher (sorry, I don't know your name), if you ever return to this site, thank you for making sure we have access to this story.

This is still the greatest bad!fic of all time... I've never written of "Self-Insertion" before and don't plan to start now, but I suppose that's part of what makes this fic all the more hilarious. Not the mention all of the references to random singers, actors and random characters popping up out of no where. I honestly think it took work to make all the spelling/grammar errors appear as terrible as possible. I have Microsoft Word and surely would see a million words underlined in red... for reasons such as that, I find it hard to believe that this fic wasn't meant as an act of "trolling", but I guess we'll never know...

-kandi aka Sapphire17

I love how the chapters are just A LITTLE longer than authors notes.

Oh god... My favorite line of all time: "I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off." Alrighty then.

But then I was like...No. No. No. Don't you dare even BRING Billie Joe into this. DON'T YOU DARE!

It's funny how Dumbledore cries wisely. Don't you think?

I have a horse named Ebony. Conclusion:

Ebony is what you name your horse, not what you name a "depressed" vampire Mary sue. Also, note that calling people "fucking fags" makes them hate your story along with your IQ equal to a box of crayons even more. I quote "you may think I'm a slut but I'm not" Sheesh, could've fooled me.

I hope that this is some crappy joke and I suggest you go to a psychiatrist or english teacher about your writing issues,

Dramaqueen617

P.s. I favorited your story to show to MY English teacher to say "See Mrs. Smorageiwicz, this is why I promise to get into a good college."

Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!

I wonder, what the fuck is that block of text?

Snape, Lupin, Masterbating.

Those were your mistakes. I want to kill myself right now because of this story. It is a grammer nazi's worst nightmare

This is hilarious  
This is like someone watched the trailers and mess up hp(btw I am a pothead. Hp is my life. It's sad to see)  
The gothic is a non-gothic's perspective On us.  
Worst of all the vampire stuff is messed up. (trust me on this)  
Might as well read to the end. I'm enjoying this too much  
And it's shape not snap. I did make the mistake of reading exploding snap in the hp books as exploding snape

What's sad about this other than the fact that it's a disgrace to fanfiction, is that whoever wrote this could have been serious about this fiction.  
Some people say it's a troll story but honestly... have you seen the way some people spell over the internet?  
I know a girl who spells just like in this story and Ill bet any amount of money she'd write a story like this too, thinking it's good.  
Just my thoughts.

-.- The dress code? Uniforms? Is there any sane person here? Becoming tempted to write a fic where a canon character ends up here and wonders WTF is going on.  
Corpse Bride isn't depressing.  
What's with all the uneeded apostrophes?  
*Aims steak cut into a cross shape* How do you stab a person with this?

Please. PLEASE. I DO WANT TO STOP READING THIS SHIT. But it's so bad in so many levels, it's so hilarious, and I swear I'm actually laughing out loud here all alone in front of my computer.

I really wonder how someone can write with so many mistakes of all types, my eyes bleed in pain.

Why was this kicked off? It's a decent story. Mine is better, of course, but this is pretty okay. Want to read mine?  
s/8286857/1/bWho_b_bDo_b_bI_b_bChoose_b

I just facepalmed so hard I knocked myself out.  
I'm torn between laughing and crying.

"St. Mangos" Lol worst fanfic ever!

BIATCH!11111111111111111111111 U STOWL MAI UURAITING STAIYLE, U MADER-FADER-VADER!

AI HEIT U! SOU VERIIIIIIIIIIIIIII MACI! AI UIL TALK TU END HI UIL KILLL IOR SORI ESS!  
IU GOFFIC DUMB(OH YEAH, I SPELT DAT RAIT, BIATCH), PAFETIC EXCHIUZ OF AH GOFIC!

PS: IU, CRANKYOLDLADY, GO MAEK MI SUM KUKYZ LAEK BESTGRANNYEVER WUD. GO. DU IT. END DEN GIV EM TO guestyguest SO HE CAN DAI OF DIABETES, LIKE L SHUD HAVE! CHE VREY, JiE SUY KIRA!

PS: NIAR, GO ROT IN HEL. RAIT NAU.

PS: AI LAEK GEASTING BEEBER. HI IZ SO HOT HI MEKS MI WANNNA FENGURL OUVAR HIM ALL NAIT LONG!

PS: , I apologize for being such a bitch. You see, this is how I am. That's why my parents named me bitch789, and I am afraid I must act like this all the time. I am terribly sorry for all the pain that I caused you. I know you really love me and cherish me and the truth is I never knew how to act in those kind of situations. Because all the other boys I dated were dicks. Probably because they had reeeeaaaaally big dicks, but that's beside the point. The point is...I love you. I can't stop thinking about you. And I really want this to work out. But I'm afraid that you're actually just like those dicks I've dated in the past and I don't want to get hurt once again. But I guess I shall give it a shot.

...

...

...

...

...

LOL, JK! IU AR OLL PHULS FOR BILIVING DAT! HAHAHAHHA! MI, LAEK THAT? NOW VEI!

PS: , GO ROT IN HEL. IU GAEV MI AIDS, I SHAL GIV IU HEL!

Dear Lord. I have seen horrible fanfiction, believe me, but not to the extent of THIS. Honestly, by the time I made it to chapter 5, I had no freakin' idea what was going on.

Oh, and her grammar...just...ugh. Shez alwys rting liek dis an uses nu pnction at al. Wtf does goffic mean?

4 sum resun it funz to rite liek dis...

...Something's wrong with me.

Sorry I can't read this any longer OMG! I don't even know what to say! What was thinking the author when she write this !  
First :English it's not my native lenguaje so sometimes it's was so difficult to read her shit  
Secund: how can she say that her character is no Mary sue in almost all the chapters I mean if a lot of people say something like that you should think that there is something wrong whit your character  
Well if I continue I will never end the only thing is that now my stories sound so much better in my ears

Sorry for the bad English how I say before this is not my native lenguaje

THIS IS VERY DWIGTRUIPHGJFKBNEWIFJQE , lol joking  
yo dis is muverfcing fabby lolz jks  
Is HAIRgrid a pirite btw

I had to stop. It physically hurt me...

Thank you for sharing this, though - I actually want to know if this was a troll or not because of how many words she got wrong.

Anyone who thinks you wrote this clearly did not pay attention to the very first intro chapter that pops up as the very first section of the story when you click on the story itself. How does someone miss the first chapter of anything unless they deliberately skip over it. It's not like it's a movie where you just walk in 30 minutes late and the beginning is gone.

But anyways, the person who actually did write this, well, wouldn't it be the ultimate irony if they're actually a successful author with legitimate, quality content?

Aw, you're a sweetie. and crap thanks for archiving this. i'll be more openminded reading new fanfics now...okay no a lot of them are still terrible but...damn.

I'm not really surprised that those comments got posted since at least once in every chapter the original author swore, insulted and disrespected the reader (if you could translate it) so if it was removed because the author had the same treatment then I'd imagine that it was written as a genuine fanfiction but if not then it was probably a troll egging on the readers to do so but still authors shouldn't do that to their audience and he audience shouldn't do it to the author.


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